Your nightmares only take a year or two to unfold...

This time two years ago I was on top of the world: I was two months away from getting married, doing a well-paid job that I loved and was good at, I felt really confident in myself for firmly bashing the post-uni slump into submission, I'd just had a hilarious weekend away with a lovely group of new(ish) friends, and my colleagues had just given me a fantastic work hen do. I'd arrived. I was a grown up. Everything had turned out OK in the end. Phew.

Unfortunately it all unravelled. Since then, I've seperated from my husband (and lost that group of new friends, and our flat), been 'redeployed' because I was unable to cope with my old job, been through depression/anxiety/personality disorders (depending on which doctor you speak to), and had three admissions to the psychiatric ward... Life just sort of fell apart.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, right?

But (and this is the biggie)... Life's not that bad. In fact, it's quite good. Sometimes, it's very good. I've made four very close friends from my hospital stays, good colleagues have become very good friends (one of whom I now live with), and I appreciate the friends and family that have stuck by me throughout all the rubbish; I'm getting better and having therapy and medication that works, and I've gained a perspective on mental illness that I would never have gotten if I hadn't been ill; I'm enjoying having the freedom of being single and doing exactly what I want; my job enables me to work with the smae kids that I used to teach, but I don't have to spend my free time worrying about it; and I'm rediscovering old passions like crafting, blogging, travelling and going to gigs (as you read this, I'll be dancing at Hop Farm).

I guess what I'm trying to share here is that sometimes shit does happen, but the consequences are rarely as bad as you might imagine.


2 comments

  1. <3 I could have (mostly) written this post myself x

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  2. Depression and anxiety are awful, I have battled both since I was six (i'm now approaching 29), but you are so right life is a beautiful ride. If I hadn't been through the breakdowns, tears and trauma I would never followed the path that I have. Finding a wonderful man who loves me for my inner strength and finding medication that works for me.
    So I can say how proud of you I am.
    If you ever need anyone to talk to don't hesitate to drop by!

    Gems x

    Fashion, Well Done

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