You're looking well.

Firstly, I just want to say that writing this post genuinely terrifies me, because it feels like I'm completely tempting fate and will have have relapsed by the end of the week. However, I'm going to stop being a big scared baby and just write it. Here goes...

Recently, I've started to feel, well, WELL. I've actually had days recently where I feel happy for no particular reason. I know this is normal, but I honestly haven't felt that at all for the past 18 months which, as you can imagine, makes the feeling amazing. I've never felt so grateful for feeling relatively normal!

Obviously I'm not cured; I still take a lot of medication, and there's lots I need to work through in therapy, and I think the events of the past 18 months will, in some ways, stay with me and effect me forever. But it's great to not feel like I'm hanging on to normal life by my fingertips the whole time. Apart from anything else, it was exhausting.

As part of a Wellness and Recovery Plan I've put together, I had to make a list of what 'being well' means to me. I wanted to share it because I want to put across how genuinely grateful I feel to finally be able to...
  • Feel like 'myself'.
  • Feel hopeful when I think about the future, and be able to make (positive) plans.
  • Go to work or see friends without feeling completely overwhelmed by anxiety.
  • Enjoy work.
  • Enjoy spending time with people.
  • Feel emotionally connected to the people I love.
  • Have the energy to live a normal life.
  • Sleep and relax.
  • Eat properly.
  • Wash regularly (gross, I know, but I'm being honest here...)
  • Laugh, and laugh so hard I can't breathe.
  • Help and support other people.
  • Challenge negative thoughts.
I'll never take that stuff for granted again. Well, I probably will, because I'm only human... But I'll try not to!

1 comment

  1. This is such an inspirational post, you are amazing xo

    ReplyDelete

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