On Thursday evening I tweeted the following:
@distract_me: Y'know, I think things might just turn out ok.
This may seem like a fairly innocuous comment, but to me it's extremely significant. I had a conversation with my care co-ordinator on Wednesday about what being well means for me. I'll probably share my specific thoughts on that matter another time, but the conversation made me realise that I really am feeling much more 'well' than I did even a couple of months ago.
Finally I feel like I can look at the future without feeling filled with dread or,worse, complete apathy. . It's taken a while, and really it's only now that I can look back on my darkest days/weeks/months and realise just how dark they were. To be honest, it scares me.
I'm not saying I'm completely cured, but I feel like I might be starting to get there. Will everything be easy from now on? Of course not. Life is difficult. But I can finally say that it might just be worth the struggle. Just maybe.