An open letter to writers of TV advertising.

Dear TV advert writer people,

I am quite a lazy person, and consequentially I watch a lot of TV. An unfortunate side effect of this is that I also watch a lot of TV advertising. I try to blank it out but, more often than not, something penetrates my brain and annoys me. To this effect, I would like to make the following points to the following companies: '' is not a verb. Therefore, the question, ' about car insurance?' is invalid.

Apple: 'If you don't have an iphone, then you don't have an iphone' is a stupid slogan.

P&G: You do not sponsor Mums. You make some products that are sometimes used by Mums. And Dads, Grans, brothers, sisters, sons and daughters, for that matter.

Colgate: I am beginning to harbour doubts about 'pro-argin formula' and whether it is an actual scientific thing. My spidey senses tell me that it is not.

There are no doubt many, many omissions from this list. Unless notified otherwise, assume that your adverts annoy me.

Yours faithfully,



  1. You're assuming the Apple advert's line is a slogan and not just a statement of fact. I feel you should write to Apple and ask them to clarify.


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