Call me Moses*

*He had something to do with the ten commandments, right?

The problem with rapid technological advances is that things that were completely unacceptable a few years (or months) ago are now the norm. Channel 4 news informed me this evening that it's ok for people to tweet 'live' from the House of Commons. Hmmpf.

The point is, that I think it's time for me to make a commitment so that I can stand by my curmudgeonly principles in the future.

My Ten Facebook Commandments:

1. Thou shallt not post overly emotional status updates.

2. Thou shallt not update thy relationship status every time thou hast an argument/make up again/hast another argument.

3. Thou shallt stalk away, yet...

4. ...thou shallt not go so far as to create a 'fakebook' account, in order to stalk people in a different network. However, I will admit to being a slight hypocrite on this one, because I once recommended this plan to a friend. As it turned out, her suspicions were confirmed.

5. Thou shallt not post/tag photos of thyself in any kind of state of undress.

6. Thou shallt not join Farmville. EVER.

7. Thou shallt not 'like' any pages not written by someone you personally know.

8. Thou shallt not create an 'amusing' middle name for thyself.

9. Thou shallt not tell the world how much you love your boyfriend. The world doth not give a shit.

10. Thou shallt make every effort to ensure thy spelling and grammar is at least vaguely accurate.

Turns out that thinking of things that annoy me on facebook was surprisingly easy. I should probably just delete my account. Oh yes, that's right: you can't. Jesus might not have given me eternal life but, thanks to my facebook page, Mark Zuckerberg has.


  1. haha nice list, i can appreciate all of those commandments! wish more people did...

  2. Hahaha, I like these! Can't say I'd ever thought of creating a fake account to stalk better, but now that you mention it, it's tempting..

    Oh, as a bit of an aside - not sure what the "Jesus might not have given me eternal life" is about, because if you want it - it's yours!


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